9 Tips To Last Longer in Bed

Published 10/6/2022
Updated 2/29/2024

Your sex life should bring pleasure and closeness, yet for many, it's often tinged with anxiety and worry.This stress can peak if you struggle to last long enough to please your partner, possibly indicating premature ejaculation (PE). Fortunately, various strategies and treatments exist to extend your endurance. Keep reading to discover more.

How Long Is Average?

You may wonder about the "normal" duration before ejaculation, but there's no definitive answer.

Research involving men from five countries found most ejaculated four minutes or more after penetration. Another study with 500 couples reported average times for vaginal sex between 3–7 minutes.

However, these figures mainly reflect heterosexual encounters, excluding a broad spectrum of experiences. Moreover, they focus solely on penetrative sex, omitting foreplay.

It's important to note that societal expectations might distort perceptions of ideal duration. While lasting all night seems desirable, many prefer sex up to 13 minutes, finding longer durations excessive. Yet, some individuals struggle to last even a few seconds during penetration. If you're facing challenges in delaying ejaculation to fully enjoy sex, exploring various tips and techniques to extend your performance may be beneficial.

Cause and Risk Factors

The exact causes of premature ejaculation are not fully understood, but several risk factors have been identified.

Low serotonin levels, a hormone that helps regulate mood, are believed to play a role in hastening ejaculation. This connection explains why emotional fixes like communicating better with yourself, talking more with your partner, and general mood enhancers like walking outside can be effective.

Additional risk factors include abnormal hormone levels and prostate inflammation. However, psychological factors seem to be the most common contributors. It's often linked with psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, and stress.

Daily mental health challenges like poor self-image, low self-esteem, and relationship issues can also impact sexual performance.

By checking off this list of helpful suggestions to last longer, you can go a small way to boosting your confidence.

1. More Foreplay

Concerned about your partner's pleasure? Enhancing foreplay can be an effective approach. Trying their favorite sex positions or discussing new ones can also help, particularly for heterosexual couples, who often face discrepancies in the time it takes for each partner to climax.

Generally, women may need direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, finding it harder to climax from penetrative sex alone due to limited clitoral contact. A survey of over 50,000 individuals revealed only 18% of women orgasm from vaginal penetration alone.

Incorporating fingerplay, oral sex, or simply asking your partner their preferences can significantly narrow the orgasm gap and elevate mutual satisfaction, making sure both partners fully enjoy themselves.

2. Sex Never Ends

When you get very close to ejaculation, stop until the feeling has passed. These pauses can calm things down and keep your sex session lasting longer. Do something else: change positions, rub each other's backs, talk.

There are several ways to stay on the edge like this. The stop-start method involves halting sexual activity before climax, waiting until the feeling fades. Another is the squeeze technique, where you or a partner squeeze the penis tip to extend the session. Just do something that's not directly stimulating to you, but keeps you in the mood.

3. Masturbate Before Sex

This option may take some experimentation to get right. Try to find a time close enough to sex so you’re not too worked up before it starts, but that still leaves enough time for you to get excited and enjoy sex as you should.

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4. Use (Thicker) Condoms

Using thicker condoms can lessen sensation during sex, potentially delaying ejaculation. This is why they're often advertised for prolonged pleasure.

Research on this method is sparse. A study spanning five countries found no link between condom thickness and ejaculation timing, but it didn't specifically target men with premature ejaculation (PE) nor did it focus on the use of thicker condoms.

Although conclusive evidence is lacking, trying thicker condoms is low-risk, cost-effective, and also provides protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

5. Try Different Positions

Switching sex positions naturally slows things down momentarily, potentially pulling you back from the brink. Each position varies in stimulation for you and your partner, offering a chance to find a new favorite. This approach not only enhances endurance but also enriches your sexual experience.

6. Strengthen Your Pelvic Muscles

The role of pelvic floor muscles in lasting longer has often been crimillay overlooked. Strengthening these muscles can help not only produce a more impressive finish, but it can also help you control yourself during sex.

Kegels are super effective for this purpose. To do kegels, engage your pelvic floor by lifting and tightening internally, avoiding the use of back or buttocks muscles. Imagine holding back urine or gas; that tightening is your pelvic floor working.

Aim for 10–15 squeezes, holding each for three seconds with equal rest in between, three times daily. Starting with fewer repetitions is fine—gradually increase as your strength improves.

7. Check Your Weight

Research has found a connection between premature ejaculation (PE) and metabolic syndrome, a group of conditions often linked to being overweight or obese. These conditions include: abdominal obesity, high blood pressure, elevated blood sugar, prediabetes, diabetes, high levels of "bad" cholesterol, and low levels of "good" cholesterol.

One study showed that individuals with metabolic syndrome were twice as likely to experience PE. If you're dealing with obesity, getting in shape and shedding pounds could not only help you last longer in bed but also boost your sexual stamina. Moreover, quitting smoking and increasing physical activity are proven to enhance erectile function.

8. Drink Coffee

If you're not a coffee drinker, you might want to consider it. A small study discovered that consuming 100 mg of caffeine, equivalent to roughly one cup of strong coffee, two hours before sex significantly extended the duration before ejaculation.

However, moderation is key with caffeine. A daily intake of up to 400 mg is considered safe, but exceeding this limit could lead to adverse effects such as a faster heart rate. If coffee doesn't appeal to you, other caffeinated beverages could also enhance your endurance in bed.

9. Foods To Help Last Longer

While a diet conducive to heart health and better blood flow can enhance erections, its effect on premature ejaculation isn't as direct, a nutritious diet can prevent conditions linked to sexual dysfunction. Magnesium, for instance, has been noted for its potential importance in male sexual health, with lower magnesium levels observed in the semen of those with premature ejaculation. The impact of vitamins and minerals isn't fully clear, but ensuring adequate intake of magnesium through a diet rich in leafy greens, nuts, beans, and whole grains is beneficial.

Seeking medical advice for persistent premature ejaculation is advisable, particularly if it diminishes your sexual satisfaction. Healthcare providers can offer behavioral strategies, including sex therapy, or consider medications if behavioral adjustments show limited results.

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